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Tue 17 How to make your own natural skincare products
Wed 18 Melissa Hartwig shares a healthy dinner to lunch recipe
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Adults Living at Home

Why are more adults living at home?

The Economy:
  • Jobs are harder to come by.
  • Real estate is incredible expensive.
Parents:
  • They “helicopter” and are more likely to be friends with their kids.
  • They are more engaged in their children’s lives and so both parties want/need to have each other around.
 
What advice do you have on adults living at home?
 
1. Review the pros and cons of adult living at home.
  • Does this make sense?
  • Pros:  Financial benefit; family time/safe space for child to explore.
  • Cons:  Could be constraining for parents and kids; potential tension.
2. Be clear on boundaries.
  • What does the arrangement look like?  (Because sparks can fly when boundaries aren’t clear on both sides.)
  • Are you a “kid living in family home”? Or “a boarder”.
  • Cleanliness of room.
  • Household chores
  • “Curfew”
  • Expectations around Sunday dinner with Aunt Phyllis.
  • Paying rent.
3. Agree on timing.
  • How long is this going to work for everyone?
  • Get out of arrangement before it becomes toxic.
  • Don’t have it be an unclear period of time.
  • Rather, set it for 6 months for example, then check in and consider extending.
4. Avoid the pitfalls.
  • Meddling in career/life decisions.
  • Being disrespectful.
  • Pretending that nothing has changed.  (You aren’t 16 any more.  You have sex with your girlfriend).
  • Being inauthentic/dishonest.
Parents: This is for your own good (when really you want them out so you can downsize).
Kids: I need to save money (when really I’m too terrified to strike out on my own).

Tips:  What do you do when adult children won’t leave?
 
1. Build foundation for conversation.
  • I love you.  I want you to be happy.  And I want to be happy.
  • It is time for you to move out on your own.  I am willing talk timing, but this is a firm decision.
  • Here is why I have made this decision.
2. Set expectations.
  • You need to find a place by _____.
  • I am willing to ________ (ie. help you look for a place; help you pack).
  • I am not willing to _________(ie. pay your rent; extend the timeline).
3. Navigate family dynamics.
  • Mixed messages (“Come here, go away”)
  • Guilt (I wasn’t there for her when she was young.  I can’t kick her out).
  • Grudges (You were never there for me when I was young).
  • Judgment (You can’t survive in the real world; I don’t support your life decisions.) 

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Relationships

Adults Living at Home

Relationships

How to Make New Friends

Technology

Instagram 101

Coming Up

Tue 17 How to make your own natural skincare products
Wed 18 Melissa Hartwig shares a healthy dinner to lunch recipe
SEE THE FULL SCHEDULE