ctv logo

Coming Up

Mon 23 Cheesy comfort food & decadent chocolate dessert with Vanessa Gianfrancesco

You are watching:

Joe Rich Helps Us Get Loved Ones To Open Up

Family therapist Joe Rich shares tips on how to confront a loved one.

1. Set the Scene

Timing can be crucial.  Be selective about a time that respects their schedule (i.e. time of day) and your schedule (e.g., the kids are out). Establish with your partner that you want to put some time aside to talk and if they press hard, give them the conversation agenda or topic that you want to talk about. 

2. Be the Listener

Identify yourself as the "listener." Don't waste time asking them to open up so that you can be mad, give a lecture, etc. Listen is also an anagram for silent for a reason. Try to listen for feelings (generally harder to find), in addition to thoughts and behaviours. 

3. Prepare for Pitfalls

Think about not taking things personally as a way of avoiding pitfalls that shut you down and therefore the conversation. Realize that this may be a confrontation that the two of you have been avoiding over time (an elephant in the room), so this may be intimidating and may cause your partner to go directly to denial as an old pattern or out of fear. 
Be careful what you wish for: you may open a Pandora's box or discover things that you didn't expect. Have a plan for how you are going to deal with things (friend, therapist, notes, etc.).

4. Plan a Follow-Up

Plan a follow-up to the opening conversation; call it a closing up conversation. This allows things to feel like a process and manageable for them and for you. 

Share your thoughts below


The Five Burning Relationship Questions You're Too Afraid To Ask

A handful of Marilyn viewers put their embarrassment aside and ask our expert how to navigate some tricky situations with their partners

How To Ease Back In To The Dating Scene

Jessica O'Reilly shares her dos and don’ts for putting yourself out there and finding love

How To Read Your Partner's Love Language

And then give them the types of gifts that really speak to them

Do Your Family Holidays Always End Up In Drama?

Therapist Joe Rich helps viewers navigate awkward those situations that tend to rise up during holiday gatherings

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Health & Fitness

Open Up Your Taste Buds


The Friend Zone

Coming Up

Mon 23 Cheesy comfort food & decadent chocolate dessert with Vanessa Gianfrancesco