ctv logo

Coming Up

Mon 27 Tommy Smythe shares the classic partyware that’s making a comeback
Tue 28 Strange but delicious food pairings with Chef Rodney Bowers
SEE THE FULL SCHEDULE

You are watching:

Joe Rich Helps Us Get Loved Ones To Open Up

Family therapist Joe Rich shares tips on how to confront a loved one.
 

1. Set the Scene

Timing can be crucial.  Be selective about a time that respects their schedule (i.e. time of day) and your schedule (e.g., the kids are out). Establish with your partner that you want to put some time aside to talk and if they press hard, give them the conversation agenda or topic that you want to talk about. 
 

2. Be the Listener

Identify yourself as the "listener." Don't waste time asking them to open up so that you can be mad, give a lecture, etc. Listen is also an anagram for silent for a reason. Try to listen for feelings (generally harder to find), in addition to thoughts and behaviours. 
 

3. Prepare for Pitfalls

Think about not taking things personally as a way of avoiding pitfalls that shut you down and therefore the conversation. Realize that this may be a confrontation that the two of you have been avoiding over time (an elephant in the room), so this may be intimidating and may cause your partner to go directly to denial as an old pattern or out of fear. 
 
Be careful what you wish for: you may open a Pandora's box or discover things that you didn't expect. Have a plan for how you are going to deal with things (friend, therapist, notes, etc.).
 

4. Plan a Follow-Up

Plan a follow-up to the opening conversation; call it a closing up conversation. This allows things to feel like a process and manageable for them and for you. 
 

Share your thoughts below

Related:

The Dos and Don'ts Of Dating As A Parent

Your child's age has a lot to do with how they'll react to the new situation, and how you can make the change as easy on them as possible

Speed Dating Has New Value In The Digital Age

One woman who has had little luck with online dating puts her fears aside and tries a new approach

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Health & Fitness

Open Up Your Taste Buds

Relationships

The Friend Zone

Coming Up

Mon 27 Tommy Smythe shares the classic partyware that’s making a comeback
Tue 28 Strange but delicious food pairings with Chef Rodney Bowers
SEE THE FULL SCHEDULE
http://www.marilyn.ca/Tickets/FAQ