Andrea Syrtash discusses her new book entitled 'How to cheat on your husband with your husband'.
Boredom is a real issue in long term relationships (not something enough people think of as an issue - but it is!) Sometimes feeling uninspired or bored in our relationships causes us to question if we married the right person, should have an adventure/cheat with someone else. I believe it's up to US to create the results we want and to stop complaining and start creating! Falling in love and being in love is different, but we can trick our brain into thinking the love is new again...which is the point of my new book.
Here are some tips....
TIP #1: Plan To Be Spontaneous
With more responsibilities (motherhood, work etc) you can't necessarily pick up and go as you used to on dates with your man; but that doesn't mean you can't plan moments of it. If you've booked off a couple of hours, explore a new neighborhood, be a tourist in your city. Doing novel activities together will remind you how fun your partner is (and how fun you are!)
TIP #2: Sweat the Small Stuff
People notice the small stuff. Don't think in terms of huge leaps but consider small steps to changing your relationship. Doing something little, like warming your partner's car on a cold day or putting a note in his/her lunch will be noticed. Small exchanges add up.
TIP #3: Turn Yourself On
I'm not just talking about turning yourself on sexually! It's about re-connecting with what you're passionate about as a woman (outside of your marriage) This will benefit your relationship. You can't be a happy wife if you're not happy. If you don't know what you're passionate about, think about how you'd spend your days if time and resources weren't an issue.
TIP #4: Make snuggling mandatory
When we're dating, we can't stop touching. After a few years, we stop doing little things like holding hands (unless we're on vacation, perhaps) Kissing and hugging your partner will release oxytocin, and make you feel more connected. Hold hands when you walk down the street, hug each other when you walk in after work (before you get pulled into a million directions) Make snuggling mandatory.
TIP #5: Talk!
We know that when communication breaks down, relationships break up. The average couple I interviewed with kids speak uninterrupted for about 15 minutes a day! And when they speak, it's coordinating plans, figuring out logistics, talking about work, money. Make a rule that each day or night you'll find 20 minutes to connect about anything but tasks, kids, work or money. Stay curious about each other just as you were when you were dating!