Valentines Day doesn’t have to only be about romantic love, as that’s only one kind of love! 
 

You can send and feel love of all kinds on Valentines Day and feel the benefits of LOVEing feelings even without being in a romantic relationship! Remember we have ALL kinds of loving relationships!

 

5 tips to a LOVELY Valentines Day as a Single Person
 

Start to notice all of the kinds of love you have in your life. You’ll be surprised where you will find it. Think about the love you have and feel for your siblings, best friends, dog, the love you feel for your coworkers, the child you babysit….Notice the love that exists in the world. People helping strangers, the kind service person who made you smile…Love can be a state of being. You either notice it all around you, or you focus on the ONE kind you don’t have (romantic love). If you are too busy focusing on romantic love, you will be missing all of the amazing feelings of love that exist all around you, everyday, if you are open to it and notice it. So, on Valentines Day walk around with your love goggles on, looking for and noticing and FEELING all of the love that exists around you all the time. 
 

One of the best ways to feel the love, is to give it! It feels good to be loving and kind towards others, and in turn, the warm and fuzzy feelings you have for yourself will skyrocket. Write Valentines cards for your best friend, your mom/dad, your fave aunt etc. Say in your card…” I love you because….” Tell them all of the things your are grateful for, how they’ve improved your life, or what times you’ve loved sharing with them. This will be unexpected and will make their Valentines Day memorable.  
 

Valentines Day alone, is better than Valentines Day in the wrong relationship! An observation I have often made with my clients in therapy is that there seems to be nothing more lonely, than feeling alone while IN a relationship! Most of us can relate to that statement in some way through our experiences.
 

So, without feeling down about relationships as they can be wonderful, DO think about how neither state- single or in a couple, is perfect. Both have flaws, and both have advantages! Remember that those in relationships are not necessarily so much happier than you are on Valentines Day, so be grateful that you are not currently in that position. For instance, if you are out with your friends, look around the restaurant and observe other couples, do they look like they are in a movie, all googley-eyed, excited, and perfect? Some will look that way, but others may not. Make guesses as to what you think is going on in that relationship and how they are feeling…Then think about how much fun you and your single mates are having!
 

Think about the relationships you’ve gotten out of that you are proud of, the bullets you’ve dodged etc…Make light of how bad some of them may have been. Be grateful that you are not there, or where you used to be, and that you have new choices and new people to meet as a single person! 
 

Good news- As a single person, your Valentines Day will look EXACTLY how you want it to look!
 

Be happy that you don’t have to pretend to like the awful valentines gift from the wrong person, or that you don’t have to be disappointed about how the day went or what your partner did or didn’t do for you. YOU have all of the control over how your day is going to go. YOU can make it great! So, be your own best valentine! Pamper yourself in anyway you want! Watch 5 hours of jersey shore while eating bad take out! Give yourself a facial while reading gossip magazines, take a walk for as long as you’d like ! Get a massage or a pedicure. Do all the things you’d like to do or have your partner do for you on Valentines Day-only this time, you can be sure they happen! 
 

No Date? No problem! Grab your favourite single friends (there are more single folks in North America now than married people!!! So, you should be able to find some single friends, or even just one!), and plan the perfect night out. Take each other to dinner, for a drink, host everyone at your house. Do a game around the table, where each of you say two things you like, admire, appreciate about every friend at the table. Or, go around the table and ask everyone to say one thing that is GREAT about being single! For instance, you can be as selfish as you’d like, you get to have the excitement of who is around the corner or if you meet someone you like, you can actually date them, you get to have adventures and experiences you may not be able to have as a person in a relationship (how many times have you heard from your single friends “I live your life vicariously, my life is boring and predictable). Or even throw an Anti-Valentines Day party if you want a different and creative night, where you can’t say the word date or love and where you serve cookies in the shape of a heart with an x across it, or where you talk only about the horrible experiences you’ve had dating or in relationships etc. 
 

Whatever it is, being in a relationship should have NO bearing on whether or not you have fun on Valentines Day!