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Wedding Etiquette


Do you tip for services provided at your wedding?

Heidi Allen: Yes, but not all services need a tip though. Ask upfront from each vendor if they expect it. For reception hall it’s already added in. Limo driver and djs are expected to tipped that day. Should budget before as you’ll know if you tip. If the services were not up to par then don’t tip. But couple’s should budget. Keep in envelope and usually best man deals with it. Hair dresser, makeup, limo driver – these services should be tipped. 

Charles the Butler: To whom are you referring?  You do not tip suppliers like the florist, religious official and the caterer, however you do tip service people such as a limo driver and wait staff, so this question is not clear as written.  Perhaps “Who should the bride and groom tip at their wedding?”

Should you invite your boss and work colleagues to your wedding

Heidi Allen: No, not expected. If your colleague is your best friend than yes, sure. Easy way to cut budget is not to invite colleagues.

Charles the Butler: No, you should never feel obligated to invite professional and social colleagues to the same event.  Firstly you never invite up, so asking your Boss is a mistake, and mixing your office guests, drinking and personal issues vs. office and looking to be respected and promoted, not a good mix.

Do you invite exes to your wedding?

Heidi Allen: No, unless there are the circumstances where you are best friends.

Charles the Butler: No, Unless you are friends with your ex-spouse and have kids in common and the new spouse is OK with this than yes you can, but other than this one scenario, it is best to keep your two worlds apart.

It’s your second marriage, do you have a wedding shower?

Heidi Allen: Yes, you can. The shower given by the bridal party should only include guests invited to the wedding. Extra showers that work colleagues or friends throw are separate. However, if guests who attended the shower from the previous marriage are invited to the shower for the second marriage, they are not obligated to give a shower gift.

Charles the Butler: No, A wedding shower is for young girls, if this is a second marriage than don’t play these games and the answer is no, be distinguished and graceful, have a tasteful wedding and move on with your life!

Is it proper to send a wedding invitation to every guest over 18 years of age?

Heidi Allen: Yes, even if still living at home with family.

Charles the Butler: Yes, you send a wedding invitation to everyone who is invited to the wedding, if they are not addressed on the envelope they will have no way of knowing they are invited.  If you only put Mr. and Mrs. Jones on the envelope, this does not include children, as their names are not listed on the envelope!

True or False: On the invitations, you should mention where you're registered.

Heidi Allen: False, never mention it on the invitation, even the registry cards you get from the place where you registered. Guests are supposed to find out via word of mouth. 

Charles the Butler: False. Never mention this on the invitation, this is tacky and saying to your guests you must buy me something here to come to my wedding.  A registration list is always just a spoken word between guests and the family and bridal party.

Can guests wear white to a wedding?

Heidi Allen: Yes, as long as the outfit doesn’t look bridal, eg pant suit. Don’t wear stark white.

Charles the Butler: Yes, they can but this is tacky, why try and take away from the bride?



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Friday, April 27, 2012

Wedding Guide

Wedding Etiquette